Things used to be different

“My son received what can only be described as an ‘artichoke sandwich’ in his trick-or-treat bag last night. Did this happen to you guys too?”

“Jesus. No, not that I know of. An artichoke sandwich?”

“Yeah. Well, more of a wrap. Like the new things they have at Subway?”

“Those are really good.”

“They really are. You know, I went there yesterday during my lunch break, and, honestly, the kid behind the counter was acting a little odd.”

“How so?”

“Well, he started screaming at me about halfway through. And throwing lettuce at me. In fact, he threw the entire container of lettuce at me.”

“Did that hurt? That sounds like it might have hurt.”

“I ducked. But it severely injured the person behind me. An eye injury, of all things. Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not sure what happened to that guy.”

“Which guy?”

“The guy who was severely injured.”

“Well, I’d imagine he’s at the hospital, right? Recuperating?”

“That’s the funny thing. He left before the ambulance got there. He sort of crab-walked out of the restaurant and down the street. He may have gone into Target? For some gauze?”


“You know, on his hands and feet? Almost scuttling?”



“Well, what happened to the other guy then?”

“He actually calmed down pretty quickly! Would you believe that? Went ballistic, and then just resumed his work. Just needed to blow off some steam, I guess?”

“Everybody’s on edge, I tell ya.”

“Can’t even trick-or-treat anymore without some prankster sticking an artichoke in a kid’s pillow case. Things used to be different. You sure this didn’t happen to you guys?”

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