The modern Cleveland man

A few years back, Brian Lombardi wrote a fine New York Times piece about how to be “a modern man.” It’s important to remind ourselves how men can still be positive role models in 2019.

Since I often get asked about how to be a good example for younger men here in Cleveland, I figured I’d share the list that I used to hand out to the summer interns each year.

“How to Be a Modern Man in Cleveland”

The modern Cleveland man does not fill out the menu at Barrio. He orders the special and makes sure to compliment the cooks.

Yes, the modern Cleveland man still subscribes to the Plain Dealer. But he only reads the Sunday paper.

The modern Cleveland man prefers to go 45 on the West Shoreway. He knows it’s important to set a good pace on the morning commute.

The modern Cleveland man knows his ward’s City Council representative—and his or her favorite donut shop.

The modern man in Cleveland attends every one of the orchestra’s performances at Blossom. He always asks the folks next to him on the lawn if they’d like some of the spinach pies he and his wife brought in from Aladdin’s.

The modern Cleveland man doesn’t bother with GetGo’s FuelPerks program. If gas is $2.95 and the tank’s empty, gas is $2.95.

You’ll find the modern Cleveland man in the Right Field District when the Tribe’s at home, but you won’t find him anywhere near the place on “dollar dog night.” Same goes for when they do the fireworks.

The modern Cleveland man grows his beard in the winter, and keeps his face clean-shaven between the home opener and the Browns’ bye week each year.

The modern Cleveland man takes the Red Line out to Hopkins when he travels for work. But does he take it downtown for St. Paddy’s Day? What, are you kidding?

When choosing the perfect location for date night, the modern Cleveland man does not consult his wife. He knows her favorite spot is Crop, and he’s had the reservation booked for three weeks already.

You won’t find any MANCAN wine in the modern Cleveland man’s fridge. He drinks pre-2017 pinot noirs on his back patio with the guys.

The modern Cleveland man plays catch with the neighborhood kids every now and then, but he’s careful not to bring up John Rocker in front of them.

The modern Cleveland man brings his own straw to local restaurants. And he’s always got extras if anyone around him needs one.

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